Tips -- Online Dating for Women

I have a LOT of experience with online dating and below is one of my interesting stories and 10 tips that I would like to share with only you about online dating.

I once went on a date with a guy that I met online. We had dinner and a few drinks and got the bill. He paid which was nice. We then went to another restaurant up the street to get appetizers and drinks as we were having fun and it was still pretty early.

After what I thought was great conversation, the bill came. He then asked me if I wanted to go home with him. When I told him 'No,' he said, 'then you can pay the bill.'

Needless to say, that was a horrible date.  I have been on a lot of horrible dates, which is why I now have rules about online dating as I have learned from my mistakes.

You can find love online and with a few of my tips I hope to make it a little easier for you.

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10 ONLINE DATING TIPS FOR WOMEN

1.  Never lie to yourself or compromise in what you want in someone.

2.  Get to know the person you are about to go on an online date with before you meet in person. You never know who you are meeting just from a computer screen.

3.  Don't show much skin as you want there to be a second date. Make sure whatever you wear is clean and doesn't have holes in it. Wear a black cocktail dress or a nice skirt and shirt combo or wear dress pants and a nice shirt.

4.  Be comfortable and try and remain calm. Do some breathing exercises and know that your date is just as nervous.

5.  Meet in a popular area and take your own transportation to and from the date. Suggest that they pick the activities.

6.  Don't talk about anything too deep. Try and keep the conversation light and try not to talk about yourself too often. You are on a date to meet a new person so try and find out about their personality.

7.  Let your date take charge and let them pay for your food. You deserve to be treated like a Queen.

8.  If you felt you had chemistry, send them a quick message online the next day or follow up with a text/phone call in a couple of days.

9.  If they do not call you back within a couple of days - they are not interested. Give up and don't call them or message them. If they wanted to get to know you, they would contact you.

10.  There are plenty of potential partners out there so don't be afraid to go on a different date every night of the week.

How To Find Out If Your Mate Is Cheating

Are You Cheating On Me?

I personally have been through a horrible situation in which I got massively cheated on .

So first hand know how bad it hurts to be lied to and treated like trash.

Cheating on someone is inexcusable.

It is the # 1 No No  in my books.

Cheating is cowardly and assholish and I don't understand why it is necessary.

Is it the thrill or just because you are so pathetic and you don't have enough balls to break up with your partner first?  I think that is what it is.

Looking back on that brutal situation I realize that there were so many warning signs but I kept putting them on mute.

My Warning Signs I Should have listened to

One of the signs was that he was always on the phone.  All hours of the night he was talking to someone.  At first I thought he had a lot of friends but I realized later on that they weren't just friends....

When he suddenly buys a new pair of shoes.  Most guys wear their shoes into the ground before they buy new ones.  They get comfortable and don't want to change it if it ain't broken.  If a guy buys new shoes it means that they are trying to impress someone.  I don't care what guys say.. this one is true..

I also noticed that he was trying to keep me from my friends a little bit.  He would always say "oh.. how about me and you just hang out tonight" and it started to happen all the time and would almost make me try and feel bad for wanting to hang out with them.

He never looked my parents in the eye.  My mom and dad use to think that was so weird.

He  never wanted to talk about anything too deep cause I think it made him feel guilty of what he was doing behind my back.

Whenever he cheated he would buy me a present.   I think he would feel bad and realize that he was a complete jerk so he thought he could buy gifts for me to buy my love I guess.

Also if they are really secretive.  If they won't tell passwords or won't show their phone to you or anything.  Some passwords are good not to share but silly ones just made me wonder.

Staying late at work is a huge sign.  That is not to say that they wouldn't have to stay overtime sometimes but when you feel like something is up it probably is.

If they also act completely different or buy new smelling cologne/perfume.  Also if they start to style their hair differently or shower more or start to keep an extremely neat house all the time.

If they are annoyed when you are around and it feels like they really don't want to be around you at all.

I know some of these signs might sound wack but believe me they are true.

Men/Women are usually pretty easy to figure out.

Trust what the inner you tells you and don't try and make it go away.

Think about yourself in this world and most importantly look after you.  But try and listen to your friends and family because they are the ones that see it from an outside perspective.

They only want the best for you.

Trust them if they think something is up because 99% of the time they are most certainly correct!

The Way You Might Feel IF You Find Out

It always seems as if you are the last to know that you are cheated on.  It is very embarrassing and you wonder how you never knew.

You are totally going to feel completely like shit.  You might feel like shit for a long time and feel like your heart is litterly broken but trust me it will get better.

There is no feeling like being lied to and taken for a fool.

Don't let this ruin your life though.  Once you have spent a couple of days in bed crying your little broken heart out get up and see it for what it was and move on.  Pick yourself up and go get your hair cut or go to the mall with your friends.

Get yourself back!!!

Sometimes love can be very blinding but by no means try and blame yourself.  Nothing you could have ever done would make someone else cheat on you.

They cheat because they want to and not because you did anything wrong.

Respect yourself enough to not put up with it.  If they will cheat once they will do it again.  Don't let yourself be treated that way.

There is someone for everyone and that someone would not do this to you.

You will only feel stronger once you break it off and don't go back.  They will not respect you if you take them back.

If you are going through this situation and need to talk, email me at lesliestar@lesliestar.ca

How to tell your mate - "I Need Space!"

I Might Explode - I Need Some Space

When your first in a relationship you tend to want to spend every waking moment with them and you want to get to know everything you possibly can about them. 

After a few months the "new car smell" fades and you now cannot get rid of them. 

How do you tell them?

It's not that you don't want to hang out with them anymore but you just need some space and some time to gather your thoughts.  You need time to get some things done that you have been putting off for waaaay too long.

Now if you are a woman saying this to a guy then you probably can just politely say that you need some space cause they don't tend to take things so personally.

If you are a guy however you may want to approach it a little differently. 

Perhaps tell her that you haven't seen your friends in a while and if she wouldn't mind if you went out with your buddies this weekend.  I believe that she will be more than happy to make her own plans. 

You have to approach women completely different then men.  Women are sensitive and mostly a pain in the rear.

You can also go about it that you need to get some chores done and praise her and tell her that she is amazing for letting you get your chores done without complaining. 

There is nothing wrong with wanting some alone time. 

Most guys want way more alone time then girls.

Women usually want to be surrounded with their boyfriends 24/7 and although they have good intentions the man probably feels smothered and unable to breathe and once they get past this point they seem to get all distant and then it totally wrecks the relationship.

Men enjoy the chase.  Once the chase is over they usually mentally quit and get bored and they want to break up or just turn into complete assholes. 

My advice to you is just be honest but try and sugar coat it as much as possible.  You can usually sense what is going to work on them. 

The best relationships need space and it is also very important to keep your friends close and not ignore them once you get a boyfriend/girlfriend. 

Friends are very important too and if you cast them aside and then you break up with your mate you will not have anyone because tossed them like garbage. 

You need those friends to help you get through the boyfriend/girlfriend breakup depression after you tell them you need more space.. Just kidding :)

If your mate is smothering and they don't seem to get the hint that you do need some breathing space then they probably not the best for you. 

It is important to spend some time away from the other to have an opportunity to miss them.  When you miss someone you appreciate them more and tend to love them more.

So ... Just approach it softly and tell me how it goes.. :)  Hope I helped!

 

How To Attract The Opposite Sex

Tips On How To Get The Opposite Sex Noticing You

Ever wonder why no one ever asks you out?

It might seem like you will never get a date but I am absolutely positive that if you just change a few things about yourself you won't be alone for very much longer.

Here are a few tips that might help you snag a boyfriend/girlfriend.

1. Always look and act your very best.

2. Keep your nails and hair manicured.  It is so unattractive when some one's nails are dirty or their hair is shaggy.  Always keep in mind that if you think no one notices that sort of thing you are wrong.

3. Always wear clean or new shoes.  If I see a really cute guy and his shoes are nasty it is automatically a turn off.  It shoes me that he doesn't really care about his appearance and trust me.. If they already look bad and you start to go out with them it only gets worse.

4. If your a girl and you wear open toed shoes in the summer please dear god paint your toe nails.  No one likes to look at dirty unkept feet.  So gross.  Keep new nail polish on them or just put a clear coat.  Same goes for the guys.. Make sure your toe nails aren't long and you don't have any foot fungus...

5. Make sure to frequently moisturize.  It is very noticeable when you don't take care of your skin.  Exfoliate too.  It makes you look so much older if you don't apply lotion regularly.  Also wear sunblock too!

6. Always smell your best.  Wear fresh deodorant, cologne and perfume.  Don't put on too much perfume either because that could repel your match too. Make sure you brush your teeth all the time.  Nothing is worse than bad breath, so floss every day and carry mints or gum with you.

7. Walk with confidence even if you don't have any.  If you don't have any.. you should get some.  You are a unique person and you deserve for everyone to know that.  There is a huge difference in confidence and and being conceited, so check yourself when you start to get a swollen head.

8. Don't brag about yourself or name drop if you know someone that's important.  That is a total turn off.  Make sure that you reveal that sort of thing once you have gone out with someone a couple of times.  There is nothing worse than someone who thinks they are way cooler than they are.

9. Be the best person that you can be.   Always be patient, kind and honest.

10. Try doing something new.  If you get stuck into a rut and do everything the same everyday than of course you will never meet anyone new.  Join a new sport team or volunteer at the nearest hospital (doctors.. hello!) or animal shelter.  Everyone loves someone that helps others.

11. Try new hang outs.  If you want to meet someone wealthy go to where to doctors go for lunch or go to a park and sit in the rich side of town.  Depending on who you want for a mate is where you will have to start hanging out.

12. Ask your friends what is wrong with you and why you can't get a date.  Tell them to be completely honest with you.. Desperate times call for desperate measures.  It could be you have a really bad fashion sense or you drink way too much and make a fool out of yourself.  Whatever it is don't take offense cause they are trying to help you.  It is called constructive criticism.  Use it and keep it in mind when you completely overhaul yourself.  When you get a complete makeover.. Mind and body.. keep in mind that you still want to be yourself but you just want to be a better you.

13. Keep yourself shaved or plucked.  If you have mustache hair and your a girl then please keep that under control.  Use wax or depilatory cream and always keep your legs and armpits shaved as it also helps you have more confidence.  If your a guy and you look like Santa Clause no one is going to want to date you if they can't even see your face.  Keep minimal to no facial hair and after you snag a girl feel free to show her your true colors after she falls head over heals for you.

14. Don't use too much product in your hair!  It looks so greasy and people will start to wonder if you ever take a shower.  Use minimal gel or mouse.  You don't want to look like a porcupine.  That is not attractive.

15. Take care of your belongings..

Example: Keep your car washed and detailed - You don't have to have a brand new car to get a mate.

Keep your shoes clean and polished, sunglasses wiped etc.  Girls are especially picky when it comes to these things.

Keep your clothes neat and pressed and never leave the house with wrinkles in your clothes.  Always look polished.

You may think that some of these tips are outrageous but the fact is you want a mate right?  Pay attention to detail because others notice everything.  You have about 2 seconds to really catch a potential dates eye, so be on your best behavior.  When you get home feel free to be a complete slob but when you out in public be the best you possible.

You'll have a date in no time!!!  Let me know how it goes.

How to keep your relationship sizzling

Are you in a relationship that is boring and you don't know what to do to spice it up?

• Send frequent (but not too frequent otherwise you look desperate) text messages that say "Your number 1 in my life" or just say something sweet.

• Go out on dates more often.  Call them up and ask if they are free for dinner on Friday or whatever you both love to do together.

• Always say I love you and always mean it.

• Buy each other little gifts just to say I love you and that you were thinking about the other.

• Fight for each other and not against each other.  It's always sexy when your boyfriend or girlfriend sticks up for you.

• Send them flowers or put them on their doorstep, ring the door bell and run. (the trick is to keep it as exciting as when you both first met cause those were the best times)

• Have a picnic at the park or beach planned with little sandwiches and cookies or something.

• Give the other a massage if they had a bad day at work or you just feel like giving a free one.

• Always kiss and hug each other and hold hands to stay connected physically.  Sometimes life throws you curves and you don't have very much time together but when you do have time, make it wonderful.

• Call each other unexpectedly.

• If you do have some extra money take them out shopping and let them pick something they will enjoy.

• Always stick up for them if they are telling you a story about work or their friends.  They like to hear that they were right even if they weren't.

• Always keep your promises because that goes a long way.

• Secretly plan a trip somewhere they have never been to before, but make sure they are free for a couple of days and DON'T TELL THEM WHERE THEY ARE GOING.  That makes it so exciting.  Bring along a blindfold to make it even better.

• Always be yourself but be the best self you can be.  Let them be themselves too and try to learn more about the other.  No matter how long you two have been together, there will always be things you never knew about them.

• Most importantly, make your partner laugh because laughter makes everything better.

• Be naughty in the bedroom.  Do something completely different like dressing up, blindfolds, fuzzy handcuffs or a nice friendly whip.  Decorate the room with flowers over the bed with candlelight.  Role play and pretend your another person.  That's always fun.  At first its quite awkward but I'm sure you both will get use to it quickly.

• Have fun with each other.  You picked one another for a reason so relax and just enjoy life together.

If you have any other suggestions or ideas please feel free to email me at lesliestar@lesliestar.ca or post a comment.

Leslie Star