Top Relationship Busts of 2009

There were so many cute couples this year but there were more couples that broke up this year and made headlines.  These are the top couples that broke up in no particular order cause they were all pretty bad.

  • Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhol - They were such a cute couple and dated for quite a while.  Jake and Maggie's parents broke up on Christmas Eve this year as well so Jake probably had a horrible Christmas.  I thought they were perfect for each other.  I thought that about Reese and Ryan too and look where that went.

  • Jon and Kate - What a horrible public break up this was.  It was the most shocking for me this year.  I feel mostly sorry for the kids.  Turns out Jon was a real sleaze bag.  How could women even find this piece of trash attractive?  Turns out a whole whack of them do.  Ewww!

  • Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren - This was just as shocking as Jon and Kate.  Tiger was suppose to be an upstanding father and husband that kicked ass in golf.  It turns out that he was voted Leslie Star's Top sleaziest man of 2009.  Keep your pecker in your pants Tiger for crying out loud.  I feel so sorry for Elin as it must have been so embarrassing for her.  There are rumors that Tiger is getting facial reconstructive surgery because Elin hit him in the face with a golf club.   Good one Elin!

  • Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller - I guess Santa didn't bring Charlie anything for the Christmas.  That bastard pulled a knife out on his wife Brooke on Christmas.  Why did she marry him anyways after his history with his other wives?  Some women think they can change the baddest man.. Lesson learned?

  • Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins - This was quite surprising for me as well because they had been together for 23 years happily unmarried.  There was always talk about how Tim was the younger man but they seemed to make it work.  That is until now... They were never really a power couple so I thought they had a chance.  I guess you can never be sure.  Rumor is that she is on to an even younger guy.  Remember Susan.. it is always greener on the other side.

  • Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil - These two were always a disaster made in drug heaven.  I never thought they had a chance.  They got divorced and are now back together and planning on getting married again.  Horrible timing for the come back of Amy Winehouse.  Blake got some woman pregnant too while they were broken up.. Oh the life of the rich and famous.

  • Katie Price and Peter Andre's - These two were always a weird couple.  I never thought that he was attractive.  He seemed so scrawny.  Well they have since divorced but before it was finalized Katie moved on to a cross dressing cage fighter Alex Reid.  Now they have broken up as well.  Perhaps Katie should wait before the divorce is final and look for a good ol' chap that doesn't like to wear your nylons.

  • Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner -  This couple was beyond cute.  The went out for 3 months and decided to call it quits 'cause there was too much hype about them and no chemistry.  I think they would have made better friends but I guess its too late now isn't it.. Next time pick a mate with a different name than yours.

  • Rihanna and Chris Brown - This relationship made headlines all over the world.  At first it seemed that they were made for each other but soon Chris "Beat her down" wrecked his career and Rihanna's face.  This relationship apparently went through many hard times but now Rihanna cleared up all the rumors with an interview with Diane Sawyer.  It always helps to get the truth out there before the other gets to it first.  Hopefully that will be the end of Chris Brown's career..  Bastard!

  • Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo - It didn't ever seem like Tony was ever really fond of Jessica.  There were always rumors that she was way too serious and too clingy for him.  That's how most women are.  Now he is apparently engaged to Candice Crawford, the former Miss Missouri.  Jessica must be so pissed!

  • Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer - I always saw him as a scum bag.  I thought she was better than him and seemed so much older and wiser that John.  I am glad they broke up.  I think he smoked too much weed for her liking.  Although Brad Pitt smokes a lot of weed too.  Now John is best friends with Samantha Ronson which is totally weird. I think John is totally gay anyway because he made out with Perez Hilton!  I'm pretty sure that makes you gay.

  • Leann Rimes and Dean Sheremet -  I thought they were so cute together but I always had the suspicion that he was hiding something in his closet.  Turns out that he's gay but Leann cheated on Dean with Eddie Cibrian.  Going from a gay boy to a total sleaze seems a bit odd for me.  Perhaps she is rebelling after all the gay action she had in her marriage for so long.  A twist to it all was that Eddie was married as well.  Leann and Ed got caught on camera making out and tried to deny it all.  When will famous people learn to do it behind locked doors?

  • Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez (A-Rod) - I totally saw this one coming.  The only reason why they were together was so Kate Hudson could get more camera time at his baseball games.  They were horrible together.  Kate is known as a manslinger because she gets men in her trap and they can't get out.  Alex managed to escape with no damage to his career.  Kate needs to slow down the relationship wheel and focus on her children.  It was obvious they weren't going to last because A-Rod just finished getting it on with Madonna.  I am sure you need time to yourself after that woman.

  • Janet Jackson and Jermaine Dupri - When Michael Jackson died Janet needed some support but apparently Jermaine doesn't like funerals so he didn't go with her.  Also people have said that she wanted to get more serious after dating for 7 years and he just wasn't into it.  He always reminded me of a little troll anyway.  Janet needs someone that is taller and better looking anyways.

  • Ivana Trump and Rossano Rubicondi - Seems like Ivana has gone a titch crazy calling little kids on the plane that she was in "Little F*ckers."  Some says it is probably that she is getting divorced from Rossano after only a little more than a year of marriage and she is getting really stressed about it.  That is now husband #4.  Wowzers... She must be crazy!  Either that or they all have hair like Donald Trump's. :)

No comments:

Leave a Comment